"The Old Navy"
The old salt spat at a passing cat,
And borrowed a match from me,
Then scratched a light where his pants were tight,
And spake quite fervently;
"I'll swear, by gum, that it strikes me dumb - -
This kind of a navee,
With not a sail, nor even a brail,
And dog watches drinking tea.
'Twas some years back that I took a crack
At serving Uncle Sam;
An' taint the same except maybe the name,
As 'twas in them days by dam!
We went aloft if the Old Man coughed,
Or if it began to blow;
And got a root from a gov'ment boot
If maybe we went too slow.
A trick at the wheel took an arm o'steel,
An' lots of plain beef y'see,
But now it's did by a high school kid,
An' patent electricitee.
We got our rum and a slap o' slum
Almost every day or so,
An' moldy bits of ship's biskits
If stores were running low.
Today I seed how these youngsters feed - -
The mess what they got each day,
An' strike me pink if I didn't think
I'd went to a swell cafay.
They give 'em ham and a lot of jam,
An' butter an' toast and pie;
An' serve 'em prunes with officers' spoons - -
Now scuttle me if I lie!
It's kind o' strange, this turrible change,
What's come to an honest trade - -
They print the log, an' instead of grog
Drink sody and leminade.
An' tell me true, like I'm tellin' you,
They wash almost every day,
Which shows how a sailor goes clear
Mad for a little pay.
It used to be that a man at sea
Was a sailor. It makes me bile
To see the way which they cruise today
With radiums, gas an' 'ile'.
An' not content to remain in sight - -
On top where a man should sail,
They go an' man a sheet- iron can
An' dive like a blasted whale.
They think they're smart, but fruzzle my heart,
An' shiver my timbers too,
If under sea's any place to be,
Fur a self respecting crew."
The old salt spat, donned his hat,
Gave a hitch to those trousers of his
He'd said his say - - so he creaked away
All itches and rheumatiz.
For sailorman since the flood began,
And Noah put out to sea,
Has raised his plaint - -
"Oh! The Navy Ain't
What the Navy used to be.
(Author unknown.)